Every successful long-term relationship is built on trust and communication. To keep hold of your partner over years and decades, you’ll need to talk to them and to listen when they’re talking. There are various points in your relationship at which you’ll need to make a choice together. Understanding where the other person is coming from, at these junctures, is vital.
But exactly what kinds of major decisions are we talking about? Let’s run through a few of the more important ones.
Financial Decisions
Money is a major driver of strife in a relationship. If one of you is spending money in a way that undermines the long-term financial goals you’ve agreed on as a couple, then the relationship is at risk of collapsing. But equally, you’ll want to ensure that you’ve set those goals together in the first place. For example, you might decide that you want to spend a few thousand dollars on a vacation each year, or that you’d like to save for a bigger house. Whatever your financial priorities, you’ll want to get them out in the open and to act accordingly.
Planning Milestones
There are certain major milestones in a relationship that deserve careful planning, as well as vague ‘what if’ conversations. Do you both have the same attitudes toward weddings and marriages? How do you intend to mark your anniversaries?
In some cases, you might make major decisions as a couple, even if this comes at the expense of springing a surprise. You might pick out an engagement ring together so that you don’t have to pretend not to be disappointed later on.
Lifestyle and Daily Choices
When you think about how your life together is going to play out, then you might be tempted to think of the major, dramatic moments that live long in the memory. But perhaps just as important are the smaller ones. Consider your daily routines and how they might be tweaked to support your long-term goals. These goals might consist of health and fitness milestones or career objectives. Think about how you can support one another in order to achieve those goals. This might mean moving house so that your partner can enjoy a shorter commute or cooking meals in advance so that you can both enjoy a better diet.
If you think that the situation could be helped if your partner took some specific action, like helping with the household chores, then mentioning it might be very useful. After all, your partner can’t help if they don’t know what you need help with.
Communication and Conflict Resolution
When disagreements arise, open dialogue is essential. This might mean setting aside specific times of the day to simply sit in one another’s company. If you have children or other demands on your time, then it’s important not to start a potentially fractious conversation when it isn’t going to get your full attention. Agree to talk later on, instead. Involving a marriage counsellor might be a good idea; it’s not just a last resort.
Conclusion
If you aren’t able to make decisions together, then your relationship is unlikely to last for any significant period. This is a skill you can develop and practice together. Collaborate on small decisions, and you’ll stand a better chance of making the big ones count, too.
